Now

16 January 2014

The most precious time is now.

My colleagues and I lost an excellent fellow scientist, Dr. G yesterday. It was so sudden and unexpected. I was frequently told how excellent she was, and we remember her as a confident, steady and knowledgeable young woman. And being young, clever and beautiful, everything was just about to start. But then ...

I mourn the loss of this excellent young lady. And I send my deepest condolence to her dear family and friends. May all be well.

This tragic news put me into deep thoughts. Suddenly I was reminded the striking reality of life, its fragility and impermanence. And I begin to think about the people around me, what they do to me and my ignorance and carelessness to them. And I begin to think about the chances and time left. 

And I wrote this for myself.

You told me about the things you wish to do,
places you want to go,
pieces you hope to see, 
miracles you wish to create.
I'm glad.

You talked about your past.
Your youth, your craze and your wildness.
I'm impressed.

Wanting, wishing and hoping are sweet.
Memories are sweet and bitter.
You want to taste more... and more.
But do you know?
They can be toxic too. 
Sweetly toxic, like drugs.

They pull you away from the reality,
form walls around you,
give you false optimism,
block your vision, unabling you to see people, things and beauty around you,
let you forget that things can be changed, uncontrolled and unexpected,
make you think you have time.

They are sweet.
But sometimes I see false hope, 
and unrealistic optimism.

They are bubbles in the air,
fragile, change fast and gone.

They make you think you have time.
The trouble is, you think you have time.

Live now, have fun, be free.
Love life, be brave, be good.

I say, the most precious time is now.
The most precious time is now.

Is this a poem? A verse? I don't care it doesn't matter. 'You' and 'I' are both me. 'You' refer to the part of me that is always thinking and dreaming: remembering the past, planning for the future. When 'you' think about the past, 'you' are an audience, watching the same old movie playing again and again. 'You' live in the past. But at the same time, 'you' like to think about the future. 'You' want to do this, and that, and dream and dream and dream. 

'You' are watching the same old movie, and hoping to create a better movie. However, the reality is, the old movie doesn't matter any more, the future movie is yet to be created. Go back to yourself now, feel yourself breathing. Watch this present moment, this movie that you are creating now. Look at the roles you are playing, look at these people in your movie, do your best for this movie now. 

Rest in peace, my friend. You reminded me that the most precious time is now, and the most important moment I should look forward to, is now.

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